6 Aralık 2019 Cuma

some bad coffee, in between

a few cups of tea throughout the day, only to be ending it with bad instant coffee with some coconut milk -which definitely doesn't cure- in. i thought good coffee accounted for the good chats we had with you, and since i assume that to be a bad cup of it, why not talk about sad shit.

i spent this week getting blamed for different actions i took but, one got to me. i showed some other person a bit of my interest and ended up getting denied of a marriage proposal by another. my closest pals say this marriage proposal discussion was just a way to get me feeling bad about my whole relationship situations, i wouldn't know. i wouldn't know.

all i can think about is that i was thiiiis close to finalising things with a person, until it fell apart a great deal. i wonder how it would be feeling like, you know, being engaged to someone? i never dreamt about getting married, getting engaged or whatever because mainly i didn't think moi was worthy. well someone *did* thought that. someone *did* consider me asking *the* question.

all i gave them was a disappointment. just like any other relationship i had before. any other heartbreak. any other break(up) of some sorts. this time, plus the issue of marriage.

i can't help but wonder,,

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